Scars and Stars

I was going to put a status saying "We decided to elope and get married" -- because that's how last Friday felt like. Nothing grand was planned and everything was done in less than a month's time. I don't even have a "proposal story" because there was really none. One afternoon while we were on a stop light, we just thought of getting married and as soon as the green light appeared the decision ... was sealed and that was it. There really is what they call - perfect timing. Everything fell into place despite our meager budget and time constraints. Both our families were supportive of what we want to have even if they were also taken by a surprise -- sa tanda naming 'to, mukhang kating-kati na talaga sila na ikasal kami, natakot ata na baka tumanda kaming binata/dalaga. Along the way there were a lot of hurdles but everything turned out well because everything was done as a labor of love - not only from the two of us but from our family members...

So I am now officially unemployed. A couple of weeks after I passed my 30-day notice at work, when I felt most doubtful about the decision, I got an affirmation from Him -- w e found out we're pregnant. Yes we are expecting! We didn't plan it but it fits perfectly well as if it was. I can focus on taking care of myself and our baby now that I don't have to fight off work-related stress. I deem it's easier to deal with the morning sickness ( which really doesn't only happen in the morning ) now that I can have full access to the bathroom and eat whenever and whatever I want. I've been crying buckets on my last day at work and I'm pretty sure it's not just the hormones.  This bum break is very much welcome but I'm also terribly sad leaving the company I've been with for the past 8 years.  I've found real friends there.  I know financially it will be a bit of a challenge but I also know that I am empowering myself for motherhood...

Since early last year, I already had these plans.   I often discuss this intention with my friends but until this month they remained to be, well, just plans.   When 2013 came in, I decided to pray for it.   I started asking Him for concrete signs that this is what’s good for me, for J and for our families.   To my amazement, He already gave me 3 signs in a span of three weeks, how’s that for an express delivery? I am dumbfounded as to how He communicated these signs to me -– through very unexpected channels.   Now I’m writing this entry not to brag that I finally did it or that it was a success.   I’m writing about this to share that He has been very faithful to the prayers of his daughter.   He has been truly faithful to me.    Now it’s up to me to get these wheels moving. Although I know that He has given me the go signal to pursue this but just like any major decisions and changes, I’m scared.   I wil...

With the ladies in the family - my sisters, Mama and my niece Ayezzah That feeling when you are on rest day mode and you don't feel like doing anything, just spend time watching TV or munching on some new snack...that feeling makes me miss my sisters more. If I were home, I'd probably just send an SMS to them and ask them to ship the nephews and nieces over. Or I'd probably just pop myself into their homes to play with the kids. Now that I am close to building my own household... There's no other place I want to be than be just a 5-minute ride away from one of my sister's home. Gosh I miss 'growing up' with them. We have our disagreements, sure, but above all else I think there is that common eagerness amongst us to share experiences together. Or maybe that's just how sisters are wired.

 Manila Bay, Philippines  What a ride 2012 has been! Comical as it is but it feels like I’ve been tossed into a laundry machine – twirled, tumbled, squeezed and stretched. Though I came out torn in some places, important thing is I am given another fresh start. I know they say an opportunity only comes once but I also believe that you’ll never run out of chances as long as you allow yourself to have it. There are things worth fighting for and there were those which are better let go of. The wisdom to know the difference between the two is elusive but I’m glad that looking back, I think I made the right choices. So when 2012 started, I said it will be a fierce year and it truly was. I know that 2013 will be a BIG year for me. Those BIG dreams which were set aside before have waited for me enough and I know in my heart that I am ready to take them on. I know that there are BIG decisions to make and I’m a bit challenged but I also know that last year prepared me -- 20...