Scars and Stars

My old blog was named Scars and Stars (2005-2012), mainly because I have a lot of scars and I have a penchant for anything star-shaped.

When I say I have a lot of scars, I’m not talking about emotional scars… I am referring to real scars. I suffer from skin asthma and I’m allergic to a lot of things, an attack would leave me with rashes and patches of scars.

I remember my kindergarten graduation when I insisted on wearing a pair of white lacey leggings not to look cute but because I really feel insecure about my legs. That early? Yes that early.

During my junior prom, I wore a cardigan over my sleeveless dress because I don’t want to show my arms. One classmate nicknamed me “dalmatian” obviously because of my scars. I started to have a relationship with numerous jogging pants too.

I overcame a lot of my allergies. I can now eat chicken, eggs, and seafood. I also rarely get my skin asthma unless I’m really stressed out.

I don’t know when or how I was able to rise above that insecurity but I am thankful that I did. I didn’t have them done by Belo and I still have my share of those “my legs are so ugly” days, but I have managed to keep it within a healthy dose.

I can comfortably wear dresses that show a good length of legs, travelling has become more convenient because I don’t have to pack those bulky jogging pants – shorty shorts, baby! Hay, if only I was this comfortable with my own skin back then.

The scars are still here. Some have faded away… but they’re here. I have learned to accept them. To embrace them as part of my own uniqueness. They are my battlescars for all those missed opportunities and they are reminders for me to seize every moment.

Even with scars and all, I will keep reaching for the stars. I wish it was also that easy to accept and embrace those emotional scars.