Taking Risks


I realized that there are truly a lot of opportunities that I can't take because I now have a son.  I find myself in awe whenever I think about this little boy and how his life and his future depends on my decisions. 

Although I have learned to be a creature of habit, I also have a lot of impulsive decisions in the past. It is exhilirating to jump into something new without much thought. I want to do that again but I cannot afford to be irresponsible because I am not only answerable to and for myself alone, I have my little family with me. Whatever I do will affect them whether I (or they) like it or not.

Another opportunity knocked today and sadly I know I have to decline because it involves moving to a different city. I wanted so much to move to a different city and have a fresh start with my family all by ourselves but we cannot do that without caculating the risks. Ahh, I wanted to say YES, pack my bags and hop in BUT I simply can't.

Having Lucas this fragile and dependent on me will not last forever so I will cherish every moment being with him. Someday he will thirst for his independence and it will only be me and his Papa again. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Little Teacher

Image
My life will never be the same again... ever. The past 4 months has been amazing.  I've discovered so much about myself along this new journey... things that I never thought I had or am capable of. Motherhood is truly what they say.  When I look at Lucas, I sometimes wish I had him earlier so I could enjoy this profound happiness longer.  True, there are those nights that I thought I would go crazy because of his demands but when he goes back to sleep, sometimes with a smile on his face, my heart melts.  There are even those nights when I know that I badly need to catch up on some sleep but just couldn't because I can't get enough staring at him.  This little man taught me how it is to be a strong, to be a fighter and how it is to love unconditionally.
Read more

Chapters

Image
Life is what you make it. Just like a book with different chapters, it is up to us whether we feel like it’s time to turn the page or not. Sometime’s it’s easy, sometimes it will take more of what we have. I have been stuck in one for too long and that realization came to me in such a good time. All along I thought I have left that chapter only to find out that I have been leading a new chapter but still living in the remnants of the other. I found out why – because I willed myself to move on but conveniently let the other characters to hang around. It takes two to tango, true. I thought I was doing “damage control” ,I never realized that someone used that phrase on me a decade ago & it did just the opposite. We may sometimes want to cling on, hope to prolong the read… Other times, we just want to go through in a breeze to get it over with. Unlike a book, we cannot just pluck pages out. It takes enormous courage to accept things that we cannot change. It is such a bl
Read more

The Spot

Image
I was excited for this week since Monday is US Labor Day and we don't have to go to work. On a Monday night! Yeah! But my happy bubble was quickly burst... there's a medical situation that I needed to attend to - which was apparently so urgent that I had to skip work as early as Friday last week. I was hoping to be back working my lazy butt off tomorrow (Tuesday) but after several visits to several doctors over the weekend and this morning, it seems that my long weekend will really be long indeed. I was not allowed to work for the whole week. That spot right there in the picture is a result of a PAINFUL procedure given to me early this morning. I have to go back and have it analyzed on Thursday. Then another consultation with the doctor on Friday. I found myself staring at that spot on several occassions the whole day today. How dare could this one tiny red spot decide on how I will be in the next few weeks (months...years...I don't know). I told my mom about
Read more